Grey Matters

I can write these things I am about to because my blog is now protected. It's beena long time since I came here and a lot has happened. But in all that has happened I discovered, reading through my blog, that I havent changed. Now it's a good thing to be the same person you were and not be unpredictable, but when it seems you havent changed because you havent learned anything, then there is an issue. I do not know what God wants me to learn from life and what paths I need to go on. All the things that afflicted and affected me made me withdrawn for a while, but other than the fact that I do not feel the desire to please anyone anymore, my issues are still the same and worse still, my choices as well. I have been very unhappy for most of last week, primarily because of a sexual encounter I had with this guy. I have known him for about as long as I had this blog but now he is married. And we hooked up recently and I feel like I am in love with him. But we had issues when we

These are the actual lyrics to a Beatles song. I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly. I'm crying. Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come. Corporation t-shirts, stupid bloody Tuesday. Man, you've been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long. I am the eggman (woo), they are the eggmen (woo), I am the walrus, Goo goo ga joob. Mister City P'liceman sitting Pretty little policemen in a row. See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run. I'm crying. I'm cry, I'm crying, I'm cry. Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye. Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess, Boy, you been a naughty girl and you let your knickers down. I am the eggman (woo), they are the eggmen (woo), I am the walrus, Goo goo ga joob. Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun. If the sun don't come, you get a tan from Standing in the E

1. My hairdressers never have to repeat my hairstyles on anyone else. No one ever has the courage to carry it off. 2. Jeans are a major part of my formal attire 3. I'm attracted to guitars 4. I'm totally in touch with my inner child, but I am still definitely an adult. (Only rock stars can walk this thin line.) 5. Kids think I am cool. 6. I love to travel

This will be the last time this blog will be open to the public. It was an uneasy décision but I believe the best thing is to make this blog private. I struggled with the increasingly nagging suspicion that I had evolved beyond the woman who began this; and now I am forced to see it's true. My initial idea was to shut it down completely but I realise I still need it to see where I have comé from. My new self, I am pouring somewhere else, that location is not hidden, but so that I am not seen in the light of this one, I will not reveal it. Thank you to all who stopped by and read what some random girl had to say. Chili --

My daughter turns 2 in a few days and I thought I should do something nice for her to remember, especially as she has been seriously ill with an infection and needs à bit of cheering up. So I went to the babystore I patronise regularly to see if there was anything she would like. (How I would pay for it was à different story altogether, but I wasn't thinking about that just yet.) To cut a long story short, the lady owner told me she just got some toys and brought à large carton over to me. I picked out à toy kitchen set, complète with plastic pots, spoons, whisk, griddles and à stove! I knew my daughter would love that, and it would save us the headache of her banging our pots and pans. I also picked out an alphabet building block set that fit together like legos. I then asked her the cost and to my surprise they came to just over 2000 naira! I was overjoyed because I felt even if I didnt have any money that amount would not be hard to raise. I begged her to reserve the things for

From this day forward, I promise to do my utmost to nuture, honour and respect my body and myself. I will no longer deride my looks but instead encourage myself to be the way I want to be. I will engage in physical and nutritional discipline that will be the precpitator of that change. I will desist from eating things which are harmful to my health or which add no value to my nutritional goals. Most of all I will draw strength from my heavenly Father through whom I can do all things. So help me God 'chili!' --